PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU ALWAYS.
No matter what you do, how you are, how you use to be, the choices you make, the choices you don't make... People will always judge you.
It's standard right. It's human nature.
1/3 of course will forever love you and all that you do, 1/3 will not really give two sh*ts - THEN you're always going to have the ones that don't like you so much, don't agree with ANYTHING you do and you rub them up the wrong way on a daily basis.
What people DON'T know; is that people will judge you based on their perception of you - which is a direct reflection of the judgement they have within themselves.
What is MOST important above all is the judgement you have towards yourself.
If you have someone that triggers something within you that feels like you're being judged, more often than not it is actually YOU judging you in that moment/experience/situation - whatever you would like to call it.
As much as you improve yourself to be the best version of you that you can, you are as you are until you change and there will be times you don't like things about yourself, your reactions, your behaviours, your thoughts, your words... and heck all of that is totally okay!
Because why?! (please tell me you don't need the why!!!)
Because you are human and the only way you get the choice to change is by these moments of judgement, these moments of f*cking up and all the moments that you day in day out try to avoid yet will inevitably always be there because reality check - that's life! These moments can teach us if we can allow them to.
Let your judgement be the eyes to see what you might like to change.
So rather than standing in the space of judgement that feels gloomy, lonely and just straight up yuck, show yourself some compassion in these moments.
Now I say compassion right - like it's just the most beautiful thing in the world (which it is) however not so beautifully easy to do in a moment of judgement, especially when it's towards yourself!
Well, I don't think you'd honestly still be reading my post, and judgement from others, or more so yourself wouldn't be a thing for you.
MY # 1 RULE :
Do not act straight away.
DEFINITELY. DO. NOT.
(Might take you some serious practise but trust me you can get there! This written piece is coming from a recovering total mass reactor that will still slip up occasionally but through many a times has learnt to know better!)
I say this intensely for a reason. If you tend to be a reactive person exerting all your energy into defending yourself it's most likely not going to be worth it, that or you feel like a dick afterwards. Which my women, let's be honest most of you are highly reactive and fly off the handle far too soon than needed - for a multitude of reasons that I'll go into another time (alternately message me for some more info I wrote on this xx).
All it does it let off a bunch of steam at the other person where you cannot possibly control their thoughts, opinions, perception, behaviours, actions... shall I go on about all the things you cannot control in another person or can we just come to an agreement that the only person we can control is ourselves?! ;)
Trying to control ANY aspect of another person will drain you, exhaust you and rip you of all your energy in a heartbeat. So just STOP that sh*t now yeah. If you have to remind yourself every day for an entire year for that to sink in then do so - it is vital and will save you so much headspace.
Bring the focus back to you.
Change your state.
Once you've you calmed your panties down, taken in some fresh air, soaked up a couple of deep breaths, maybe smashed a plate or two?! Muhahaha my go to when sh*t gets real.
Maybe ask yourself a few questions like;
Why did these words/this situation/this person piss me off? What is it about this situation I don't like? How did I show up at my end? What could I take away from this?
It's all you can do.
What are your other options at this point?!
The alternate would be to keep up the grudge (to yourself and to others?!), let it eat you up inside and continuously keep wearing it?! That sh*t will get massively heavy and tell me you wouldn't 100% end up the loneliest woman on earth?
Gotta learn to let sh*t go and if it's an issue for you then practise some more, and MORE, and MORE... until you get the hang of it okay?
The person who will benefit most from this is YOU so woman - go check yourself in the mirror and repeat after me 'You got this woman, go get it!'
Be your own side kick, hold your own hand and step it up #BOSSWOMAN style!
Love to hear from you on this topic, feel free to leave a comment or share with someone else who might need to read this.
Big love, BW x